Dear Y.E.S.S.,
I have a very dear friend; I=ll call him ASam.@. We have known each other for a very long time. Recently Sam has not been telling me everything about what is going on with him. He says I am so busy he does not want to bother me. So we had a talk about it and he said he would share with me more information about what he is doing. Now he constantly interrupts me when I am doing important things. What should I do? I think he would be very hurt if I told him to stop interrupting me when I am busy.
Dear Kinda Busy,
We, humans, are all selfish beings. We think about ourselves first. Then, we think about others. In other words, we often can see others much more than seeing ourselves.
I think you need to talk with him. However, first, you need to be awared of how self-centered we are. When Sam did not tell you about himself, you asked him to tell you more on him. When you are busy, you now think he interrupts you. You need to realize you are acting and behaving selfish.
We often use the word, Abusy.@ In Chinese character, Abusy@ is made of 2 characters. One is Amind,@ and the other is Alose@. It means that you lose your mind when you are busy. When you are busy, you can nicely ask him, AI am busy right now, can I talk to you later?@ If he is your very dear friend, he will understand your request.
Our founder, Shinran Shonin often used the word Alistening@ in his writings. For followers of Shinran Shonin, Alistening the teachings of the Buddha@ is the most important and wonderful thing. AListening the teachings of the Buddha@ does not only mean listening the Dharma talk and chanting of sutra, and reading writings and scriptures, and so forth. You will be able to find the teachings in your communications with your friends, daily events, and so forth. Let us practice the listening in our daily lives.