People often ask me about the memorial service whether it is better to have a memorial service for the deceased before the actual memorial day or after. Although I do not know whether it is Japanese thought or local thought, people in Hawaii consider those services such as memorial service, inurnment service, and so forth are ill-omened things, hence it should be held earlier. On the other hand, birthday, wedding or some kinds of anniversary are considered good (lucky) things, hence they should be held later. What do you think?

When people ask me about above questions, I ask them the reason why they feel it is better to have a memorial service before the actual memorial day. Almost all people reply same answer. If it is not held the memorial service before the actual memorial day, "Bachi" (punishments from the deceased or Buddha) will fall on the family and relatives.

I have been staying in Hawaii for about 7 years. After staying this period of time, it is my general impression that there are some misunderstood customs and practices on our teachings here in Hawaii. I should study about them why they came to be misunderstood. But, in the course of Japanese immigrants history, I guess that various customs, practices, and teachings were intermingled. And today, as a result, many people are practicing misunderstood customs. Please understand that I am not criticizing about your ancestors!

"Take refuge in the Buddha yourself, take refuge in the Dharma, take refuge in the Sangha. Do not serve other teachings, do not worship devas, do not enshrine spirits, do not heed days considered lucky." 

(The Collected Works of Shinran, P. 255)

It does not matter whether you observe a memorial service before or after the memorial day. Most important thing is your feelings and attitudes towards the listening the voiceless voice of the Buddha and the beloved ones. The memorial service is a precious opportunity for you, your family, and friends to listen to the teachings of the Buddha, given by your beloved one. Your beloved one is guiding you to walk the path of the Nembutsu teachings as a Buddha by giving the opportunities to listen the teachings of the Buddha.

When I was 6^th grade, my grandpa passed away. My grandpa had observed a morning service every day as well as my father. If I missed the morning service, he did not allow me to eat breakfast. He was very strict grandpa. After observing the morning service, our family ate rice together which was offered to the Buddha. At that time, I always thought why I had to eat cold rice and I preferred more warm and freshly cooked rice. However, I now truly appreciate for my late grandpa what he had done for me. I now can realize that I was eating the best foods, offering of rice to the Buddha and the teachings. If I had not eating that offering of rice which became cold after the morning service, I would not know the true meaning of the offering, appreciation, gratefulness, etc. It is beyond my calculated knowledge thinking. It is arisen from my mind and heart. My grandpa taught me about it.

When I went back to Japan last year, my family temple observed a memorial service for my grandpa. During the service, I delivered a memorial sermon and shared with my families and members on how my grandpa guided me and gave me the opportunities to listen to the teachings in my daily life. For me, the memorial service or memorial day for my grandpa is on everyday, not only on his passing day. Everyday, every moment, and every occasion is precious opportunity for me to listen to the teachings of the Buddha, given by my grandpa, ancestors, and interconnected relationships with others.

The memorial service can provide the opportunity to listen to the teachings of the Buddha as well as an opportunity to remember the deceased. However, I strongly feel that we should not particular about the date, place, and style of the service. It depends on your attitude to the precious opportunity given by your beloved ones. Let us realize the true meaning and significance of having a service and listen to the voiceless voice of your beloved ones in our daily lives.

"- - those who have been born first guide those who come later, and those who are born later join those who were born before. This is so that the boundless ocean of birth-and-death be exhausted." 

(The Collected Works of Shinran, P. 291) 

Namo-Amidabutsu